Somehow, when EJ started exhibiting very typical adolescent behavior problems (goofing off in class, talking back), I immediately felt like I had failed. The Mom Guilt kicked into high gear. I beat myself up every time I thought of my children, scolded myself for not having it more together for them.

I don’t think I’m the only one this happens to.

In fact, I think it is our perception of how other people perceive the success of our parenting as demonstrated by our children’s behaviors that make us parents a little crazy when our kids act out. We can get defensive, ‘My son would never…’. We can be resigned, ‘what can I do?’ We can run the full gambit of emotion.

And then when we share these frustrations or concerns, we can be met with such…well, judgment. While there might actually be good advice beneath, it’s hard to hear alongside the dripping disdain. The most critical being from either people we secretly think are the worst parents, or folks who ain’t got no kids.

Discipline is hard. But it is an opportunity to connect. So, if it helps, here’s a recent example from my life.

You got this, Ma.